Out of Print



Comics Will Break Your Heart


by Jonty Cruz
Art courtesy of Juris Go.
Juris Go talks about the work and struggle of creating Janjan Comics, how he’s coping with anxiety, and providing some respite through his art.




In the early months of the lockdown, Juris Go found himself fighting with DDS trolls on Twitter. It was never-ending, he says, like fighting with a hydra. It wouldn’t stop. Juris says it got so intense that he knew he had to quit for the sake of his mental health. He retired from being a “keyboard warrior” and purged his Twitter feed to save himself from any more personal stress.

It’s been a tough year for Juris. Early on in quarantine, he lost his part-time job as a digital marketer for a local skincare brand. A month later, he was asked to come back but he found it difficult to work because of anxiety. “I was staring at my laptop for two weeks and couldn’t bring myself to do anything,” he says. His boss understood, and after a few months of rest, he was brought back in. It seems it’s gotten better—or at the very least, he’s learned how to handle it. “I’m just trying to survive the real world,” he tells me.

Over the course of our Zoom interview, Juris candidly shared how 2020 and the different careers he’s had throughout the years have affected Janjan Comics, the webcomic that he started in late 2016 and became viral just months after. There were a lot of laughs—mostly from Juris himself—but in between the jokes and talking about Janjan, he had a lot to say about his struggles with anxiety and how he’s been learning to cope with it all year.

I told Juris at one point during our conversation that I’ve found his more recent comics to be quite therapeutic. But also, that I couldn’t help but see that they’ve become heavier of late. The humor is present still but there’s a weariness to it. It’s a bit more aware of its surroundings, its circumstances. What must it be like to create something good at a time when everything seems to be going wrong? That’s probably the one question I really wanted to ask him most ahead of the interview.

“I just moved out of my parents’ house again and into a condo when you emailed to interview me,” Juris tells me. “Sabi ko sa sarili ko, oh my god, paano ‘to? Wala man akong permanent address.” [Laughs]

The following has been edited for publication


Out of Print: Hi Juris! So how’d you get into making comics?
Juris Go: Before I went into advertising, I was in I.T. for three years tapos nagka-quarter life crisis ako na ayoko ko nang magtrabaho nang gabi. I’m an engineering graduate pero after that quarter life crisis, [I took] theater classes and directing classes. I left my I.T. job at the start of 2016 and by the end of 2016 wala pa rin akong napupuntahan. [Laughs] Dun ko naisip, why not go back into drawing since ‘yun talaga ‘yung hilig ko? Nung time na ‘yun uso na si Sarah Scribbles so I said why not try and do something like that. Around that time, I saw this video, “Finished Not Perfect,” and ‘yung point was you just have to do it kahit hindi siya perfect. Nag-start ako nung December 2016 and by January and February dun na siya nag-viral. Tapos nagkataon nakapasok ako ng advertising and then sunud-sunod na siya.

So after some of your comics went viral, did you consciously feel you had to do more “viral” comics
Actually, na-pressure ako kasi sobrang daming nag-viral. After a while na-cripple ako ng anxiety na what if it’s not funny? Umabot siya dun tapos dagdag mo pa ‘yung stress of working in advertising, nagka-time talaga na hindi na ‘ko nagpo-post ng comics.

Napansin ko nga na tumatalon ‘yung dates.
Oo, hindi na siya masyadong active nung 2018 kasi ‘yun ‘yung time na nasa creative agency ako and sobrang crazy talaga.

Why was it crazy?
Accounts ako noon and ang lakas niyang kumain ng oras. I was living right beside our office na, and kahit ganun wala talagang time to do other things.

It’s interesting na accounts ka. When you said you worked at an agency, immediately I thought creatives ka.
Natatakot ako mag-creatives kasi sobrang stressful siya. Natakot ako na I won’t enjoy the work. And totoo naman ‘yung hunch ko. [Laughs] Kasi pagpasok ko ng agency, kawawa talaga ‘yung mga nasa creatives. Bugbog talaga sila.

Pag-business kasi, kailangan mabilis, ‘di ba? Ang daming timelines na fino-follow. So hindi overly polished yung work na kung minsan basta mailabas mo lang.

Did you learn any skill while you were at the creative agency?
“You have to say something in a short sentence.”



Janjan Comics’ “Feelings (4)” by Juris Go.


So what brought you back to making comics?
I have a friend who lent me this book called The Artist’s Way and at one point it said you have to write a journal entry every morning. It helped kickstart me drawing again. Ngayon dire-diretso na ulit ako nakakagawa.

That was actually a question I wanted to ask. Do you write down thoughts you want to turn into a comic beforehand?
Part ‘yun ng journaling, oo. I think comedian din talaga ako so randomly nakakaisip lang ako ng jokes and then I write it down, tapos I send it to my friends to ask them if it’s funny. Pero recently, I stopped pressuring myself to be funny. Ngayon, for me, enough na ‘yung mapapa-smile ka. It doesn’t have to be slapstick or super funny because I can’t be that all the time.

I did notice most of the posts from the first two years were mostly slapstick comedy. This year, there’s still humor but may weight from real things. Favorite ko ngayon ‘yung mga posts mo about fear and anxiety.
Oh my gosh, ang dami ko rin kasing ganung experience right now. [Laughs]

Because of the pandemic?
Yes, pandemic-related. I think I need to see a therapist. Ang dami ko kasing anxieties.

I just turned 29 and parang iba na ‘yung mindset ko from when I started Janjan four years ago.

So how did you envision it at the start and how do you see it now?
Nung umpisa, I wanted, in my own way, to raise the level of humor in comics, and now ang dami na talagang smart doing comedy. So now I just want to do the things I’m good at—like being pa-cute on the internet. [Laughs]

I think a lot of the stuff I post na maganda ‘yung reception was because may deep emotional thing akong napagdaanan. I have one, ‘yung “Nalista ko na lahat ng kailangan gawin. Ayoko na sila gawin.” That was my creative agency experience. Hindi ko talaga inexpect na sobrang crazy siya. [Laughs]

In what way?
Mabilis siya. Super bilis. And that’s the norm. Lalo na kapag you work with big companies. Ang hirap din nung mga decisions you have to make. like ipag-oovertime mo ba ‘yung mga creatives? Na-realize ko sobrang ayoko ‘tong gawin.



“What I think I’m good at is to offer a brief respite from the stress.”


Do you feel the pandemic has challenged you in any way in terms of your creativity?
‘Yung nangyari kasi, nung nagkaroon ng lockdown, we got laid off sa part-time job ko. I understood it naman but I also realized I have time to be creative now. Pero nung nangyari ‘yun nagkaroon ako ng super crazy anxiety. Kasi sobrang ‘di ko alam kung anong mangyayari. Walang plan at all. Nagkakaroon na ‘ko nun ng rashes sa sobrang stress.

Inisip ko, baka okay na rin ulit mag-drawing, pero syempre ngayon, especially on Twitter, sobrang politcal na lahat. Okay lang naman ‘yun but I didn’t know what to create. Should I make something political? Is it okay to make something funny and not talk about politics?

So how do you decide that now?
When I feel it’s something super important and actionable. There are some things naman kasi na wala ka namang magagawa.

What do you mean by actionable?
For example, if you can ask people to sign a petition. Kaya I spoke up nung Anti-Terror Bill.

Wala namang problema for me to speak up. I just do it on my personal account and I feel marami na kasing comics doing political and reactionary stuff tulad ni Tarantadong Kalbo.

What I can offer and what I think I’m good at is to offer a brief respite from the stress.

I’m curious if making the comics offers you the same respite. When I read your comics, it’s very therapeutic in a way but nakukuha mo rin ba ‘yun as you make it? Hindi ko rin alam e. Do I? Sa totoo lang nakakapagod mag-drawing. [Laughs] Ang crazy lang ng creative process. Nakakaiyak siya minsan.

So how do you relax?
Mahilig ako mag-yin yoga. I love it so much. Nagka-anger management problems ako before and it helped so much. Pang-relax talaga siya.

Janjan Comics’ “You Are Not Your Feelings” by Juris Go. Published on August 7, 2020.


Are there things you want to talk about or do now through Janjan or elsewhere?
Yeah, siguro ibang klaseng execution naman. I don’t want to dwell on the recent stuff too much kasi sobrang nakaka-stress siya. You see it in the news all the time. You see people talking about it all the time. If I’m going to talk about it, siguro ibang way na ‘yun and something that’s more hopeful. That’s something I learned this year. I’m a pessimistic person but I learned you have to look at the positive. Kung ‘di, mababaliw ka talaga. [Laughs]

Can I ask you where the Janjan name came from? My only guess is it was your nickname when you were little.
When I was taking theater classes sa PETA, we were talking about how we all have an inner child. So Janjan Comics became a sort of exploration for my inner child.

I’m half-Chinese and I grew up in that environment na kailangan mataas ‘yung grades, and late ko na na-realize na hindi ko talaga na-explore what it means to be a child. Ang lakas kasi nung pressure growing up. ‘Yung mom ko kasi, she’s the only Filipina wife. ‘Yung dad ko, seven brothers sila, tapos lahat Chinese ‘yung wife. Mom ko lang ‘yung Filipina in a Chinese family. So there was a lot of pressure for her and kaming kids.

There’s one comic in particular I like that sort of talks about growing up. ‘Yung “Anak, noon ang liit mo pa. Ngayon may existential crisis ka na. It was striking that you drew a young girl in it, a character you never used before, instead of Janjan. Hindi naman ako psychiatrist or anything but I did wonder why you didn’t use Janjan for that.
Siguro, I don’t want Janjan to grow up.︎



Jonty Cruz is a freelance writer and former magazine editor.


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